The most important thing is that we need to be understood. We need someone to be able to listen to us and to understand us. Then we will suffer less.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Many people feel the need for additional support at some point in their lives. Talking through concerns with a trained professional can help people to understand themselves better and thereby find their own solutions to their difficulties.
Issues that may bring people to seek counselling and psychotherapy include but are not limited to:
Why counselling and psychotherapy
Anxiety, depression, stress, anger, bereavement and loss, relationship/family issues, identity, career, self-esteem, co-dependency, addictive or compulsive behaviour, a lack of direction in life, issues relating to childhood abuse/neglect, sexuality, ageing or illness.
What’s the difference between psychotherapy and counselling?
Many people wonder what distinguishes counselling from psychotherapy. There is no universally accepted answer to this question and some practitioners do not distinguish between the two.
However, one definition suggests that counselling is generally of shorter duration (3-6 months) and tends to focus on one issue or difficulty, whereas psychotherapy is generally of longer duration and may involve exploring a number of different issues which have existed for a length of time and/or are complex and inter-related.
In psychotherapy, the development of trust in the therapeutic relationship over time enables a deeper exploration of the origins, meaning and consequences of life issues: people may use psychotherapy to address and modify longstanding symptoms or behaviour, and to understand how they have come to be the people they are; in addition, some people find psychotherapy to be a useful process in promoting their personal growth and development.
Both counselling and psychotherapy provide a place for people to talk through and explore their concerns. The process of counselling or psychotherapy leads people to a deeper understanding of themselves (feelings, thoughts and behaviour) and how they relate to others. Self-awareness and self-acceptance foster improved and expanded life choices, thereby improving emotional well-being. The role of a counsellor or psychotherapist is to help you to understand yourself and to find the life-path and choices that work best for you. Through listening without judgement and responding sensitively to you, my aim is to support you in your voyage of self-discovery and improved functioning in the world.
Choosing a therapist
Because of the different types of therapy available, choosing a counsellor may be confusing. Research indicates that no one therapeutic approach is more effective than another; instead, the success of therapy seems to depend on the quality of the relationship you form with your counsellor. Hence, it is extremely important that you find a therapist with whom you feel sufficiently safe and comfortable, so that you can talk openly about what is on your mind and in your heart. It is also important that the therapist or counsellor possesses the skills, training and experience to help you with your current situation.
An integrative approach to therapy
Psychodynamic approach places importance on the link between the past and present (origins of issues), on looking at patterns in relationships and feelings (including within the therapy encounter itself) and in working symbolically and with the less conscious parts of self. A Humanistic approach emphasises the importance of the expression of feelings, and focusses on helping you to find your true or 'authentic' self, which may be hidden under longstanding life scripts or beliefs about what you 'should' do or be. A Cognitive Behavioural approach focusses on addressing counter-productive ways of thinking and behaving that may be inhibiting you from having the life you want. A Systemic approach recognises that we are each part of many groups - family, work, community - and that our own struggles and ways of being may be bound up with those around us.
My own therapeutic approach is Integrative, primarily combining principles and theory from Psychodynamic and Humanistic schools (and also incorporating, where appropriate, Cognitive Behavioural and Systemic thinking). This means I adopt a flexible approach to my work, and respond to clients as individuals.
What happens in therapy?
Therapy can be extremely effective in supporting people so that they may grow and change, become more self-aware and be more true to themselves. Through therapy, many people experience a new sense of freedom, peace, and well-being.
In therapy, you may:
Tell your story; access and define your truth (break silence, end secrets)
Get in touch with feelings (emotional release witnessed/accepted/encouraged by the therapist)
Gain insight; understand yourself better (your history and how this influences you now; your patterns of feeling, thought and behaviour; the significance and impact of your current situation)
Allow unconscious thoughts, feelings and memories to surface and be worked through, so that you are more aware and have more choices
Integrate these new realisations, feelings, and options
Make changes; address and shift unhelpful patterns (in thinking and behaviour)
Experience a nurturing relationship with the therapist (wherein you are encouraged to be yourself, and in which your whole self is welcome)
All of these elements may be facilitated and experienced through the protected time, space and relationship of therapy.
What you can expect from me
Change in therapy may happen through the content (what is said), process (movement in feeling, thought and behaviour) and relationship (trust, safety, acceptance) of therapy.
What you can expect from me includes:
Listening in an accepting, curious and compassionate way to your words; also attending to your unspoken communications
Encouraging you to speak, to tell your truth, to access your feelings; validating you
Wondering aloud with you; asking clarifying questions
Offering observations and making connections between different elements of what you have said
Inviting you to allow your hidden parts of self to be known, including any heretofore 'forbidden' thoughts, feelings, and secrets
Helping you to think through new ways of being and, where appropriate, challenging you to consider alternatives
Working together with you to clarify and identify goals
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Lao Tzu